Sometimes even I get lucky – life
in new country, new city and new surroundings is going really well. Few weeks
were quite stressful as I was desperately looking for a room to rent and moving
every few days with big luggage. Now I
got place to rent in good location, quite cheap compared to Brno prices, but in
kinda scary conditions – it’s terminated contract, I’m responsible for
everything what might happen.
I went to Prague to vote and meet
some old friends from Erasmus in Estonia and just explore city. I stayed with
two really great Croatian girls who are doing exchange in Prague. They told
that culture there is quite similar to their home country, language too and
it’s quite cheap for them. Also only eight hours away from home. Same like for
me when I was in Tartu, though I can’t say culturally it was close. Prague is
really beautiful as city but so crowded I was hardly able to breath and was
always scared that something would be stolen from me. Also I was in city two
years ago so it was rather strange when memories flooded and also walking and
remembering that ‘I was there’. Also it
seems I already got used to Brno prices as everything seemed quite expensive
for me. I just once more felt that I
made good decision coming not there.
Also I needed some rest from very
disturbing experience with my previous host. On my last night there I was
awaken by her roommate having drunken sex in the room I was sleeping in. that
was even more awkward that my host making making sexual offers when I was in
Prague two years ago.
It seems that I’m not as ready to
independent life as I thought I am. I suck as expenses planning. I feel like
I’m spending much more that I can and probably just making up for lost time
when I was saving money to come there. Also my phone died. They said it’s
probably not repairable as it got wet. Well, it can be true, but it was working
just fine for two years after accident and died just one week in Brno. Seems
like technical stuff is simply not for me. I’m just hoping that my old computer
will live for a while till I save enough to get new one or at least change
broken plastic cover. I like my old one though, it has many stickers on it,
reminding me various moments.
New week I’m planning to force
myself into actually doing something to change my life as till now I was just
being relieved I’m there and enjoying time. I have to find job there or there
will be zero money for me. And probably zero health insurance. And I feel I
need that.
Somehow after meeting Ileana and
Stepan I felt as if I made step backwards. They both doing their PhD, Ileana
already has two masters. And I never made it to master's diploma being oldest of
them. I just remembered feeling very awkward in Estonia, being 24 and doing
masters why everybody around was doing PhD. In my country where education
system sucks only bravest make it to PhD as it means very little money and lots
of time. And students actually gets knowledge if they try hard as most
lecturers don’t care about it.
When I got into university, I was
excited at first. But it turned into shock as I came into the class full of
dumb blondes with short skirts, long nails, fake hair and fake everything. Administration saw our program as third stupid brother where most of students
pay to get paper and even supported cheating as dumb students financially
supported university. I never got over shock that cheating was supported and I
was told I will be kicked out of university if I report cheating again. I still
kick myself that I started master in the same university. That was extremely
stupid decision. And waste of family savings. I could have used it much better,
for example coming there earlier. Few good things I got out of it was my
Erasmus exchange time (most of it) and knowledge I got myself. I kept my mouth
shut about cheating though. Biggest slut from my bachelor course, Regina, was
in the same course with me. She bullied me all the tame, but I never got over
fact she got away with it.
On the moments when I just was
not able to brush it off, I missed my grandfather. He was only one from my
relatives who always supported me no matter what. And was smart, loved and
sociable. I wish that I would be able to became to be at least partially like
him. I wish I will find love, stability and satisfaction with my life. And overcome
my greed.
