Never trust the one who does not trust you

Just had probably one of most stressful experiences there in Brno, which proves that people on Couchsurfing are not exactly hospitable. Especially when it involves money.

To start with, when i arrived there, i was looking for place to rent. I found one via couchsurfing group. I didn't like guy at instant, as he was paranoid and hysteric, but decided to go with it after concultation with lawyer. At first that guy wanted us to sign contract which involved only obligations for me, but no rights and i would have been considered responsible even for force majeure. Thankfully later he decided to use brain and our final contract was o.k. I paid deposid and finally he took off. He was acting extremely weid and clingy - invited me as a friend on facebook and constantly asked annoying questions. Even asked to take some stuff from his not very tidy friend who just dropped stuff on the floor after coming in.

The guy finally decided he wanted to come three days earlier. I wrote o.k. if you want to return me money paid for these days as i have no reason to trust you (because of him being clingy and not providing copy of his i.d. document while insisting for mine). Then he got hysterical and demanded me to drop my plans to wait for him. Also he decided he helped me and did favor by renting me a flat and wanted to keep my money because of that stupid idea. In the end i agreed to come over the flat if he paid me my money first and he said o.k. Seem he's also a lier as he tried to take off with my money after taking keys, but came back after i told him i would call police as our contract was still valid and he had no right to be there.

Moral of the story - don't trust  clingy people who decides they are doing you a favor by taking your money.

On more positive note - my current flatmates are just great, even bit loud at times. And we have a not very smart cat. I even can use post box as my grandmother does not know a thing about email.

Now i finally can realax and be happy that i don't have to deal with that creepy guy any longer and can just enjoy life there and wait till i will be able to actually start working. For that i need awful lots of acesses and since it was end of month people were very busy and not exactly able to answer my questions so i did lots of self education. Hopefully my manager won't be angry that i was not exactly useful.

I would like to meet some more people there and maybe learn czech language so i started looking for tandem partner. I plan to go to English pub night to maybe meet somebody willing to help with my czech. It seems that people, even young, are not very good with english there so even some not very smart ones keeps insulting me telling that i speak with english with russian accent, my english is still much better that theirs.

Going to post is always adventure there as they don’t speak much English so it’s hard to explain what I want. Today I went with note prepared with Google translate. Luckily today the only English speaker in my post office was working, so I got my letter from grandma (all my mail went to post office and I had to go and ask for it as I had no post box). Also I bought box for parcel as I’m still not sure if I will be able to go home for Christmas and probably will send something home.

Being thankful

On satuday aside from becoming one year older i experienced my first american thanksgiving party there in Brno. I was invited by lovely american lady whom i met there in Brno over my third day there. Now i understand craziness about that celebration as traditional dinner was simply delicious - turkey, sweet potatos, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie and other stuff i never tried before. Even after goodling i don't fully understand roots of that tradition, especially why in USA and Canada it has different dates.

I also started working. I love that in my job we are not allowed to gossip and to talk about company stuff, so people actually go to work at work, not to disturb others by gossiping. My team is really nice and helpful, so i expecially enjoy learning a lot. I just didn't ever thought that i will find my dream work enviroment there, in Czech republic. Guess people's character and mentality adds a lot to that. Maybe in Lithuania works is always a finght as most people are negative most of the time and just lashes out at collegues. I remember how stressful it was for me to work in female company (there was one guy, but he left for the same reason as me) while all of them was fighting and gossiping all the time, as well as drinking at work and not respecting anyone, even themselves. I think i escaped just in time before becoming negative angry woman myself.

Since i'm new at job, my first holiday will be in half a year. That means Christmas will be celebrated there. While i'm not religious person myself, i will definitely miss my grandmother, mom and my guinea pigs (they should have babies around december according to my mom). I think i will find something via Couchsurfing events as there will be many foreigners stuck there.

I'm not really disappointed by that as i learned more living on my own and had more positive experiences than while living at parent's place in Vilnius. Also now i have much better opinion about myself as well as do my relatives. Just my mom is still woried how i'm doing and constantly sending my money and asking if i eat properly. 

Couchsurfing

I decided to write one post purely about couchsurfing mostly as result of discussions in forums and my most negative experience. 

I joined this website two and half years ago when i was doing my erasmus in Tartu, Estonia. I was introduced to couchsurfing by one very stereotypical american girl, who talked about surfing and hosting with such enthusiasm that i decided to give it a try. But first time i actually used was few months later when i went to Czech republic for a week (i had money left after my erasmus and wanted to spend it travelling somewhere more far than neighbouring countries). Well second time surfing was extremely weird. I was in Prague and stayed with guy who answered emergency request. I know it was stupid not to send normal requests beforehead but in my defense i can say that i was very new and didn't get concept of cs back then.  Good talked too much for my liking (basically all the time), kept asking questions and simply stuck like wet leaf to naked ass. I like interacting with host, but i'm unable to speak constantly for few hours, especially about topics i have no interest in. When it was time to rest, i had to watch movie 'Devil wears Prada" with him in his room. he inssited that i would sit on his bed but i pretended to give myself foot massage after long day walking. When i was finally set free, he asked if i want to sleep in his bed, on floor or on sofa. I chose sofa. After i asked him to use his laptop to check some stuff, i discovered he had fake profile with photos and name of some vietnamese girl. When i woke up, i saw him watching me. Damn, that was somne crazy stuff. I was happy to get rid of him in the morning but had to return as i left some clothes in his apartment. If i wouln't have been so new, he probably would have one negative reference more (he has two already).

Another weird experience was when i hosted myself. I did it two times and both were not so pleasurable. First guests, couple from Latvia, acted like i was free hotel - no interest in hanging out together, came only for one night, kept talking in latvian. I left posite reference only because they did it first. Second was polish girl who sucked at basically everything she did. I left no reference for her and she left none for me. I feel that i had too much patience with her. First, i had to walk for half and hour home as she got wrong trolley, although i wrote correct one, and we missed last trolley. Then nex day i had to skip concert as she insisted she would come back from city to take phone charger. And managed to get wrong trolley to wrong direction again. She was unable to plan her time and wasted mine. Never said 'thanks' and well, i guess i was wrong accepting her.

Next bad experience was one i already wrote about - liar host with lack of social skills. Otherewise i just try to learn something from expriences i don't entirely like. Sometimes there's clash of opinions in forums. Sometimes people just are too stupid to read whhat's written - one time i asked question in forum - what reference one would write if experience is very negative - negative or neutral one. One guy (i agree with negative reference in his profile) just gave me few diagnoses and analysed me and my experience instead of anwering. When i pointed out he didn't answer my question, he just wrote an essay. I deleted topic when i saw it's not going anywhere. Nex time i was called egocentric and freeloader because i answered that don't think about money when i surf/host (question was if it's necessary to pay money for host) and i believe that if host thinks how much surfer cost him, he should not host at all or use AirBnB. Because of that guy analysed me and my profile. I think that person does that when he has zero arguments to prove his opinion and looks for opponent's personal faults. I just didn't answer. I like lithuanian saying "duok durniui kelią" (give idiot free way) so i liesten to it quite often. Then it gives me satisfaction as i feel smart and as a winner of argument.

I still think that couchsurfing should be about cultural exange, not money or travelling for free. And i don't feel as worse couchsurfer just because i am unable to host right now and in close future. Partly my expriences are like that because of my sarcastic 'no bullshit' personality and saying what i'm thinking, partly because some people just has different idea of it or are too stupid to read what's written. Some has mostly positive experinces. One amazing guy i met just before hitchgathering in Lithuania learns from any exprience. I think it depends on person. and country one is from. I noticed that in expensive cities and tourist destinantions, for example Copenhagen, Norway, Australia people think about money all the time but instead of using air BnB contantly brags in forums about 'freeloaders' surfers. Also there are some cultural differences. For example, i would never give copy of my document to anybody i don't know. For me it's the sign that somebody don't trust me. For others - perfectly normal procedure. I learned a lot from mine and i'm happy i joined page as i during two years i met so many great people in Vilnius couchsurfing comunity, travelled, met some great people during my trips and simply shared expriences. And human interaction, good or bad, always gives something to stay.

Stereotypes

So last thursday was spent in Kaunas due to some paperwork needed to do. Well, again experience was negative. All the time i go to Kaunas i manage to attract agressive people who usually gets angry because i'm from Vilnius. This time first i was shlouted at in kiosk because i tried to buy public transport tickets. Later when i tried to buy ticket in trolley, driver shouted at me because i had only 20 litas note. She gave me change in 1 litas coins. When later i asked in another kiosk what's going on with tickets, she explained that since july it's possible to get them only at drivers.

Later on saturday me and my cousin went to free university (LUNI) camp. That was interesting. While most interesting lectutres happened in friday, saturday was dedicated to lectures about bisexuals, anarchy, sex workers and so on. We also spent some time near the pound where i tried surfing and jumping. People in LUNI lectures are always expressive, strict and sometimes seems agressive that's why it's better to listen than to try interrupt.

What i liked the most was actually pound. Since day was very hot, over 30 degrees i think it was perfect. I came back with sunburn on my shoulders and back, but very satisfied with whole trip.

On sunday we went to Žeimena river to enjoy. While i'm fire zodiac sign, somehow i always prefer water and colder weather, so due to hot day i spent almost whole day in the river.
Near the place we went swimming there's the lake called Pravalas. While lake itself is very nice for swimming, name kinda makes itself. There so much trash around and people actully leaves behind themselves instead of throwing to garbage bins. What also annoyed me is that cars go near by water while there are sign prohibiting it and rule saying that it's illegal to park closer than 50 metres to water.

On monday lithuanian Rūta Meilutytė won gold for 100 metres breaststroke swimming. I'm so proud! Brits are jealous and germans also accused of using doping. Some people just can't live with other's vistories.

Bureaucracy sucks

Week was quite stressfull as i had to deal with parliament and other freeloaders. I sent one request about month ago and gave them few simple questions. Instead of getting aswers, my request was redirected to one committee which gave my opinion, not answers so i had to write again. And again got answer that my request is redirected to committee again. Ugh....

On thursday evening i went kayaking in Neris. While during daytime is pretty much boring, in the evening and later at night view is really stunning, especially while sun is setting down.

Later me and my companion went to have some beers at Route 66 which is really amiable place with tasty and cheap beer, nice interior and without "Švyturio extra" made from powder. While it's most popular beer, it's certainly one off less tasty. In Route 66 they have on thing which sounds almost creepy for me - beer with tomato juice. 

On saturday i decided to check "Live camp" event.Description said "Camp principle is simple - guitar, friends, and Fire. Everything else - details, but everybody who has been there  - knows that it is most cozy and mysterious guitar camp in Lithuania."

Thought about going to stay overnight, but came back after five hours as event was really boring. Maybe my opinion would have been different if i arrived in the evening but since i arrived around noon there were nothing really going on. Some people playing, some singing and thats it.

Eveing was much better though - i went to listen some music in Vienuolyno kiemas and later some acquitances joined. That place always leaves mixed impression for me - it's expensive and they don't have local beer, just Švyturio extra from powder and even if there are two persons inside they always have three face control guys whose main task is taking people's water. But they always have really nice concerts.

Midsummer

Last weekend and preweekend (06.21-06.24) was spent in alternative midsummer celebration.

Weather was plus minus good, aside some rain on Thursday night and Friday evening. Company was also okay, but i liked Thursday evening more because there were no drunk heads and loud music (festival started on Friday evening). Music was very loud and playing till six in the morning and also quite bad on Saturday night so almost no sleep made me very tired and grumpy. I fail to understand why some people consider shouting, drinking to the ground and not letting others to rest as 'fun'. 

There we so much to do and only after coming back home and reading program i realised how less i saw. There were one camp 'Forever christmas' with hot wine, soup and gifts for people who said some rhymes to Santa claus. There were camp of eco-crazed, joga obsessed people. Fest organizers declared 'leave no trace' politics but there were some much trace left it was disgusting. 

On saturday day we went to look for Šventoji river. Description said 'twenty minutes, two kilometers', but we got lost a bit, so it took around one hour one way. There were no (pseudo) beach so people who wanted to swim had to jump straight into river and go. I didn't have courage to do so as river is very fast and i'm not very good swimmer yet.

The sculptures were very nice and took quite long time to make them (i heard weeks) and lots of attention to details and burning them was quite sad at times but it was the point of fest. On first (Friday) night gates were burned down. It was made mostly by stew and planks. There were some cable holding them together and we put some fabric around them so nobody would get hurt, but one dog still did. That dog was a bit funny for me. It's seven months old German shepherd name Tiklis and for me he seemed plain stupid. He wanted to play but didn't give stick to throw. He hurt himself. He didn't know how to swim (really!) - when jumping in the water he started whining and instead of swimming to the shore he tried to get on small bridge so in the end three guys had to get him out.

Buning statue looked as great as before burning. There were some drummers, fakirs, dancers, singers and fires going on. Before that i persuaded other to make flower crowns as it is one of traditions of Midsummer to later throw them into water or burn. I slept in my car that night as i really wanted to get some rest and woke up with sun hitting my eyes, stiff knees and wanting to take almost all clothes, what i did. But at least i rested. Music was horrible on sunday night but most of people didn't care about it. So, all in all, weekend was very good.

Middle of the week

Some time ago one of my friends told me that in the heart of Vilnius, in front of archicatheadral there’s a place of cheap margaritas every Wednesday.  That’s how tradition to go there almost every Wednesday was born. Tres mexicanos are perfect place to meet friends in the middle of busy week and talk for hours while having few very tasty (and cheap – half price on Wednesdays) margaritas. Owners are very friendly and interested how customers feel and how they like the place. Waitresses are also pretty cool except one has always serious expression and for me it’s always strange if she smiles. And almost every Wednesday for me finishes with catching last trolleybus.

 photo by "tres mexicanos"

Margaritas wednesdays are allways cool, especially during summer when there's places (if you are lucky) to sit outside and enjoy margarita and chat. Better to book though.

Tres mexicanos
Tilto g. 2

Drops

I have neighbor who has not my taste in music and is quite punctual – almost every morning around 8 I wake up from vibrating walls. Outside weather is kinda strange – sunny but snow still not melting. Sun gives sense that spring is coming. In traditional st. Casimirs fair there were lot of foreigners spending their money (things are more expensive in that fair than are in supermarkets) and then spending money in bars. Although I still look for a job, I find myself looking for weekend as working person, because there is not much happening during week days. I notice that since there’s almost spring already there’s more and more tourist coming, but it’s kinda sad that there’s more and more young people leaving as it’s becoming harder and harder to survive there. I’m thinking about it too, I would like to see world and be able to live with more than barely survivable amount of money.

Center

This weekend I participated in two very cool cooking events which was nice getaway from what I usually do on weekends especially because I wasn’t forced to spend time/be in the same room with drunk people. Weather just gotten really warm and sunny so mass of foreigners ‘I saw old town and that equals I saw city’ was spending time in st Casimir fair which is quite boring for locals as stuff you can buy there are no different from supermarket’s assortment and usually more expensive. I didn’t went there so wasted zero amount of time. Locals are quite angry nowadays because our genius mayor changed some of microbus routes so people from some districts have hard time getting to city center. I feel lucky that I live in district with good connection to center and main problem for me is getting last trolleybus if I stay late in center. Since most of foreigners living here think that city is old town, they have no such problem and that’s probably why they have no knowledge about good place to hang out except most central ones where mostly foreigners resides.

Whereabouts

I feel like getting into winter rest mode nowadays – doing things slowly, sleeping longer, walking slower and enjoying view. Also I got into money saving mode as it became more pleasurable to out few times a week instead of every other day. I still try to explore city as much as possible while walking a lot and hiking every weekend. These days are full of posed grief as Whitney Huston died just a day before Grammys, two days ago. I can bet that if she would have died longer time ago, she would have gotten award for lifetime achievement of something like that, as all singers dead in ongoing year does. I never understood why some people, mostly so-called-stars feels the need to express ‘grief’ instead of keeping it to themselves. Although I see a lot of space for improvement in Lithuania, things like that makes me glad I’m not American of English, shivering from ‘arctic’ cold. There’s one English guy I know here, in Vilnius, but I never talk to him although seeing him constantly as he has no manners when among people and lied two times to me. Somehow seeing him I always wander if he is struck with cold there and maybe it froze all his manners. Although it’s just a start of the week, I can’t wait for weekend already. Few weeks ago I participated in really cool pub crawl and was amazed how many cool pubs with their own exquisite public. The only annoying thing was when people got drunk and started being too clingy for my liking. That’s always point of parties requiring most patience. Being not alcoholic is sometimes hard. But at least I have nothing to regret being done while drunk which I saw so many times…

Back home

After coming back home from my trip I always feel a little lost in translation. After Latvia is extremely easy as language is quite similar and it take time for me to orientate to Lithuanian. On Sunday I decided to participate in social flashmob ‘high five’. That was really nice experience and only photographers made it unpleasureable. It was refreshing to see serious faces bursting into smiles after simple ask to give ‘high five’. Even older people participated eagerly even at first some of them couldn’t get what is ‘duok penkis’. I really wish that on such events all cameras simply would stop working, that would make life much more pleasurable :)

Just some thoughts...

Lately i‘ve been thinking about if it‘s true that living in a capital affects stress levels. I‘m fan of Estonia as people are very relaxed, friendly and helpful there but one girl i‘ve met during my week in Tartu told me that it‘s diferent in Tallinn, city i sincerely don‘t like because of it‘s unnaturality. She told me that there people are always running somewhere and are not so friendly. I didn‘t noticed that because i‘ve spent only few days there but it may be the reason i don‘t like capitals exept of Vilnius as it‘s my home town, although a little too big for me. Capitals always makes me nervus as are full of tourists, expensive and impossible to enjoy  because of mass of people (especially if you are not heavy drinker and want to do sightseeing, not party all the time). I know the ways and Times to enjoy Vilnius and to avoid mass of the people although nowadays Vilnius are mostly full of alcoholics from Spain, Poland, UK and Portugal mostly, sometimes from Italy too. I don‘t feel comfortable around alcoholics which got some people think that i ‚hate‘ specific nationalities. Few Times i was even told that non-drinking is ‚boring‘. Hmmm... although i have amazing experience with people from countries mentioned above, tourists from tiese countries are horrible mosto f the time (not always and i really don‘t hate anyone). I just secrectly hope that one day people learn to enjoy what is around them without heavy drinking, taking puotos all the time and finding some hidden treasures, not only touristic places. That can make capitals awesome too.