Self absorbtion and politics

I managed to almost score a job I really wanted and know that I will be good at so I’m really happy nowadays.  Now I’m not thinking about stuff which always stressed me out at home and just enjoying life there. And moving on. So far most of the people I met was really nice and helpful, aside liar without social skills Klara (since she attacked me with messages, I tried to get her off me telling that I found her interesting as person and wish positive experiences). Thing is I think she’s quite boring and maybe due to her age lack social skills. One thing is when you lie in some reference, another – when you keep telling person that (s) didn’t do something (s)he knows was done. That was really weird. And I wish she will get as negative experience as mine just to know how it is. She was so afraid to tell something in the eye that she lied only in reference, maybe to defend her actions. When I asked in forum how people would write reference in such situation I got few essays about me and that experience but nobody answered how they would react in case of negative experience – be truthful or careful. So I dropped it off. Now I’m being discussed in one of forums by some Norbert as not able to take answer I don’t like when there were no answers. Some nationalities never cease to surprise with their self absorbance…

I keep read news’ blogs from Lithuania from time to time just to know how it is. Now, few days after elections everybody talks about it. And I’m happy I left just on time as some people never learns. Main winners were social democrats, labor party and conservatives. Main coalition will be first two plus ‘law and order’ party. Hmmm… where to start… Social democrats are not bad per se. it’s just they talk a lot but do very little. They were ruling party before and pffff… Nothing. Labour party is party of criminals. Quite a few there are charged of some crimes, mostly financial. I actually like their leader Viktor Uspaskich as talker and business person, but as politician he's extremely bad. He is extremely layered person and actually it would be really interesting to talk with him a bit. He reminds me Artūras Zuokas a bit - talks a lot, has some nice ideas but in the end - pffff... And Rolandas Paksas party, well, i don't even know what to say about that. At least positive. I'm not really into politics but i believ that conservatives was best choice - they did some non popular decisions but it gave positive results during financial crisis.

Our Mushroom is also interesting. She expressed her opinion loud and clear, like she always does and it's actually first time i agree with her. Usually Mushroom appears as dictator, not president, and quite self absorbed one - thinking that her opinion is one and only and everybody has to agree. So many such persons in one small country gives big mess and lots of unhappy people. And highly sceptical me.

Bits

I’m still getting to know city which I now consider as mine. When I was coming with bus from Prague I thought ‘finally home’. Guess that’s it.

I still don’t feel stable though. Looking for a job and meeting new people. Most of them there are quite party persons, so it’s difficult to find somebody interesting to talk with.  I won hour of bowling in one of ‘social’ events so maybe i will meet somebody interesting before i'll be able to use it.

On tuesday i was at singing by campfire event. Weather was just perfect and company was nice. I wanted to hear some czech folk songs and it was a chance. They have quite few about America which was quite surprising for me. 

On saturday i went to small town called Jedovnice not far from Brno to see fishing market. I went with few latvians, one czech and one slovak. And it seems i was only girld not afraid of such bad weather (it was raining all day long). Hike plans didn't work though as everybody got frozen.

In the evening there was Halloween party at Brno, but i didn't went there as i was just cold and wanted to rest hugging a radiator.

Americans

On Friday I met one American guy, named Landon Bevier doing research about what people thinks about United stades. What a disaster and stereotypical American he was. I wrote when I’m coming to meeting point and saw that he read my message. I waited almost half and hour and came home. Later got his message that he’s up for meeting. I wrote which station he should come to and that I will wait for him. Again – half and hour later and quite bad later. He even didn’t paid for my drink, thought he invited me and said he’s in hurry to talk with girlfriend. I sincerely doubt that anyone would date such a disaster. I just got cold and wasted my time on him. But probably he just lack social skills or didn’t like my answers.

But somehow I never met American with whom it would be interesting to talk with and I met a lot. Most of them were just plain dumb and self absorber – speaking only one language and thinking about themselves as most important persons in the world. Or electing Barrack Obama just because he’s black. Or giving Michael Jackson lifetime achievement award just because he died that year while he stopped being big years ago before that. They also gave award for John Cash because he died although he sucked big time.

I actually try to be very politically correct and sometimes lie instead of saying what i'm thinking and don't believe in stereotypes, but somehow it's the only nationality about which all stereotypes proved to be truth in my experience. I'm not saying i didn't met any cool americans ( i did, all of them are living abroad, few i call friends). But cultural differences are way to much for me to handle and i usually feel uneasy around self absorbed people.

Lack of social skills + fear = lies

So apparently Klara is not only quite rude, but also a liar. I was accused of not saying 'thank you' for her after repeating it several times. One type of people i can's stand are liars and she is quite bad one. Also she told that her friends didn't hear that whis is natural as i don't know them so i dind't thank them separately. And was really relieved when i left her place. Maybe i just should forget that.

I was in Palava hills today with few people from Brno. It was truly beautiful and relaxing day, especially when i was able to give in into climbing.
I'm in very unstable right now, without job or stable living place so i'm scared at times and don't feel very safe. That's why i enjoy spending time with people in nature as it helps me forget at least some part of my stressful existance.

Lasting

Sometimes even I get lucky – life in new country, new city and new surroundings is going really well. Few weeks were quite stressful as I was desperately looking for a room to rent and moving every few days with big luggage.  Now I got place to rent in good location, quite cheap compared to Brno prices, but in kinda scary conditions – it’s terminated contract, I’m responsible for everything what might happen. 

I went to Prague to vote and meet some old friends from Erasmus in Estonia and just explore city. I stayed with two really great Croatian girls who are doing exchange in Prague. They told that culture there is quite similar to their home country, language too and it’s quite cheap for them. Also only eight hours away from home. Same like for me when I was in Tartu, though I can’t say culturally it was close. Prague is really beautiful as city but so crowded I was hardly able to breath and was always scared that something would be stolen from me. Also I was in city two years ago so it was rather strange when memories flooded and also walking and remembering that ‘I was there’.  Also it seems I already got used to Brno prices as everything seemed quite expensive for me.  I just once more felt that I made good decision coming not there.

Also I needed some rest from very disturbing experience with my previous host. On my last night there I was awaken by her roommate having drunken sex in the room I was sleeping in. that was even more awkward that my host making making sexual offers when I was in Prague two years ago.

It seems that I’m not as ready to independent life as I thought I am. I suck as expenses planning. I feel like I’m spending much more that I can and probably just making up for lost time when I was saving money to come there. Also my phone died. They said it’s probably not repairable as it got wet. Well, it can be true, but it was working just fine for two years after accident and died just one week in Brno. Seems like technical stuff is simply not for me. I’m just hoping that my old computer will live for a while till I save enough to get new one or at least change broken plastic cover. I like my old one though, it has many stickers on it, reminding me various moments.

New week I’m planning to force myself into actually doing something to change my life as till now I was just being relieved I’m there and enjoying time. I have to find job there or there will be zero money for me. And probably zero health insurance. And I feel I need that.

Somehow after meeting Ileana and Stepan I felt as if I made step backwards. They both doing their PhD, Ileana already has two masters. And I never made it to master's diploma being oldest of them. I just remembered feeling very awkward in Estonia, being 24 and doing masters why everybody around was doing PhD. In my country where education system sucks only bravest make it to PhD as it means very little money and lots of time. And students actually gets knowledge if they try hard as most lecturers don’t care about it.

When I got into university, I was excited at first. But it turned into shock as I came into the class full of dumb blondes with short skirts, long nails, fake hair and fake everything. Administration saw our program as third stupid brother where most of students pay to get paper and even supported cheating as dumb students financially supported university. I never got over shock that cheating was supported and I was told I will be kicked out of university if I report cheating again. I still kick myself that I started master in the same university. That was extremely stupid decision. And waste of family savings. I could have used it much better, for example coming there earlier. Few good things I got out of it was my Erasmus exchange time (most of it) and knowledge I got myself. I kept my mouth shut about cheating though. Biggest slut from my bachelor course, Regina, was in the same course with me. She bullied me all the tame, but I never got over fact she got away with it.

On the moments when I just was not able to brush it off, I missed my grandfather. He was only one from my relatives who always supported me no matter what. And was smart, loved and sociable. I wish that I would be able to became to be at least partially like him. I wish I will find love, stability and satisfaction with my life. And overcome my greed.

Brno

So i'm in Brno now. Things are not going as well as i planned ( i have hard time looking for a flat) but i simply enjoy my time there. I'm staying with wonderful girl who gone great lenghts making my comfortable and travelling around as much as i can. I already went to wine week (wine is surprisingly cheap there, as well as really good beer) and also checked one event of coffee week which is going right now.

City is really beautiful and i like people there as they are polite and helpful. What surprised me is everything is very clean there. In Vilnius if there's new bench build, it's broken within few days (it never stopped to amaze me).

I simply adore architecture there as every house is totally diferent and almost all houses have a lot of decorations. I feel that even if city is relatively small, it will take quite alot of time to see all beautiful sights.

I like being far away from home as it gives some feel of independence, although i'm still relying on financial support from various sources.