Stop

Few days ago when for a second year i was stuck alone during holidays i contemplated importance of so called birth of Christ celebration. In my country even it being not catholic at all it's still a thing. But in my family it's kinda sad since my grandfather died (it was beginning of november) and we were only three left. It took a toll on my grandma and maybe because of that i'm kinda happy i don't have to spend it talking about a past. Even me myself being more realist/pessimist than optimist, i prefer talking and thinking about future, not past. Probably that's the reason i don't really enjoy company of avid travelers. Most of the time they are able to talk only about their past travels and don't even have sense of time. Few days ago i was spending evening with my friends and one of them spend 3 hours talking about his trip over the pound. It was interesting only for about half and hour and later i started thinking that maybe guy has not much happy moments now as he talks only what he already did/saw.
The only past moments i like to think about is my childhood as it was really happy times. Nowadays kids grow up dumb as they have mobile phones since early childhood (sometimes even in kindergarten), facebook and other social networks and don't communicate much eye to eye. In my country it's kinda hiding from existing issues in everyday life. Since Czech republic is kids adapted, i hope here is better. People in the streets are actually smiling.
Now i have few days of holidays and since my plan to go to Wroclaw didn't come to existence, i decided to spend it doing day trips around Czech republic and get to know country better. This month is kinda perfect for that - almost like as compensation for last year with freezing cold and snow till end of april, this december is really warm and temperature never went below zero. There's even green fields around despite now being almost middle of winter.
The only period i experienced which was close to winter was when i was to my home country when it was white and snowy and cold for almost a week. But cold in Lithuania is very different from one there. I used to spend lots of winters hiking even during night at around - 20C and it wasn't cold because air is quite dry and if dressed properly one simply doesn't mind the weather. There it goes to -2C and only thing is one's mind is to hug radiator and don't leave home. Surprisingly for some people Czech republic is humid country even not having sea or other proper water pounds. I guess humidity comes from evergreen forests and hills. But now it feels like really warm autumn.

Targets

Once upon a time i had great plans for myself. I wanted to grow up doing lots of stuff and learning new things, but somehow i got stuck there. Now i am at the good time and place but sometimes don't have courage. That's how i learned importance of having friends. Once a lone in foreign country people around me became important.
Now i'm in hard place. I decided to move out my apartment as i'm ridiculously overpaying compared to living conditions (old house, smoking inside - my flatmate does it, small). Thankfully one of my friends offered temporary place to stay. I decided that this time i would be more careful looking for place.
First time i had to move because of landlord. He was living in the flat and had no boundaries - knocking at door when i was sleeping, doing repairs in early mornings. Everything person who is not used to live with other people would do. I was creeped out actually. Especially that instead of telling me something directly used to send text messages. After being tired (couldn't sleep with all the doors banging and drilling early morning or late at night) for couple of months i got enough and started looking for new place. He actually asked me to move out before i told him, so it was easier. I found my current place quite quickly then.
Now main issue is my mentally not stable flatmate. She was hiding it quite well. But the fact that she's freeloader get out pretty fast. She used stuff i bought and never even contributed on cleaning stuff or toilet paper and even used my dishes. Later banging at evenings began. When new flatmate moved in i started to stuffer She forbid him to use balcony we all are paying for so he smokes in a room and i cannot use kitchen as i don't react to smell of smoke well. She even never took trash out, but put bag next to my door with note that i should do it. And kept attacking me on facebook but never had shame to tell me in the eye anything. So now i'm almost homeless as i gave my notice to move out till the end of the month. So i'm on a brink of change now.
I hope new year will bring great things to my life. I know what i want and where i want to be so now i just need courage and strength to achieve it.

Where's your home?

So, after one year abroad i came to visit my homeland and after one week i can sincerely say i miss my second home, Brno.
Somehow i had hopes that stuff improved up there, but it's what it was - just hopes.
To start with - public transport, ugh!.. User not friendly, rarely going and ages old. Two years ago they started so called 'reforms' there and then it went downhill. First names of stations were changed to longer, not pronounceable for foreigners ones which people strongly disapproved (old names are still unofficially used, nobody still says 'Karoliniškių poliklinika', they say 'Kometa' (name still used by taxi) and so on, especially on one which goes '... seniūnija'. Even language commission informed me (i actually wrote email) and said that their recommendation was to use short names, which our 'beloved' parish just didn't care about. Then e-ticket which didn't work at all for first few months and still not working properly and considered as swear word by locals. And instead of improving existing system, mayor still dreams about bikes and metro. Also Vilnius is not for active / young people. Not only zero night transport (after 23:00 basically impossible to get home if one doesn't live in old town), but also zero thoughts about most popular routes - overcrowded all the time and goes very rarely. And yet, 'only buses' lines were introduced. Damn, if i see Vilnius mayor or some parish officials one day, i will tell them they are stupid. Because they are, no matter how politically incorrect it is.
There's slight improvements in streets as Lithuania is leading ES parliament this year and politicians wanted to look good in international arena. But well, politicians don't live among people or use public transport so improvements is mostly in public buildings. Otherwise not much changes. Some places closed, some opened. I was really dissapointed that instead of one of my favorite places, 'Visų šventųjų baras' now there's quite awful place called ''Taverna diaspora' with overpriced beer and awful seating (trying to put 100 people in place for 30). 'Coffee hill' is also sadly closed...

Impossible is nothing

Finally after more than one year (one year and two months to be precise) I decided to use my vacation to go home. After all, my cousin had a baby daughter during that time, I miss my grandmother and her cooking, I miss my lovely guinea pigs and surprisingly, even my annoying little sister and of course my mom.

I decided to avoid 22 hours on a bus through Poland and have mixed train – bus journey instead. I am doubting my decision now, once i'm in Warsaw. Train Brno – Bohumin was just fine, calm, smooth ride. I was actually knitting whole way (trying to get my scarf done till cold comes). Way Bohumin – Warsaw was another story though. I got the seat and started watching series (my old laptop works only on cable and that train had sockets) and knitting when some lady with kid comes in coupe. I wasn't happy about light being turned on so lady called train officers and then they called me dangerous (for asking to turn off the light) and asked to move to other seat. I did but i'm still kinda shocked about being declared dangerous. Maybe it's just polish way of dealing with things.

On the way to Bohumin I saw some snow on the fields. And read in the news that Christmas tree was lit in Vilnius today. Sadly I had to move my holidays due to my challenged flatmate and won't spend that period with my family, but will be back in Brno instead. And working.

So I will try to get most of these two weeks in my homeland. Spend time with family, see places, do stuff. Relax from all the craziness at home (my flatmate went to the level where she leaves her trash by my door).

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened

Today is my birthday and more than one year since i last saw my family. Going home in one week and trying to sort out everything going in my life right now.
My biggest concern right now is place to live. One of my flatmates went completely crazy and i even had to ask for legal help. She didn't clean after herself, cut us off from internet, hidden the contract and took the rooter and  continue to freeload (didn't buy anything for the flat for months). I learned lesson hard way - never live in place where you don't meet the landlord (ours communicates only with crazy flatmates as she was first to move in) and live without contract.
On more positive side, there's beautiful autumn in this corner of Europe.

This was one of first caught my eye when i first moved to Brno - beautiful autumn. While in Lithuania autumn is also very colorful and pretty, there it is just different due to various hills around the town and much bigger trees (i think it has something to do with climate as same trees are bigger there than i'm used to see).
I recently joined pleasure walkers community in Brno and now try to enjoy weekends walking around Brno.
Also i recently enjoyed my first (!) opera there in Narodni Divadlo. It was Nabucco.

Since i had no expectations, i enjoyed it a lot. While subtitles (i actually didn't expect opera to have subtitles) were only in Czech, it was relatively easy to understand what's going one - two girls loves one guys, some occupation, some killing and so on. Although i probably should have read script before going there to understand performance better. Since one lady of our group knew one guys who was singing, we were invited to backstage which was really cool.
Recently was first time to try raw food in Kiwi. While i really enjoyed it (had mix of champignons, had no idea how it was prepared without cooking), i realized that it requires lots of time to prepare food like that. And creativity. While i could switch to vegetarianism quite easily as i don't like or need meat tthat much, being vegan or raw food eater is just not for me.

Addiction

I think I have addiction to internet. After my flatmates refused to go and pay for it it was cut off today (after two months not paying) and I felt so lost that I even ordered prepaid internet from O2 even though my experience with them says that that company just takes off money from your prepaid card without providing any service. Just in case i might need want to check facebook before head hitting the pillow. I cannot wait for awaiting change - changing the flat soon. We are now 3 and my flatmates goes over all my tolerance limits :

• one of them smokes in the room, so corridor and  kitchen stinks and i cannot cook
• other expects me to buy everything for the flat (like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, pay internet bill) and constantly lies about having no money
• we pay by person, no room size, so i financially support these two without actually wanting it
• we are not allowed to use balcony
• one of flatmates keeps wifi router to herself and expect us all to pay same price for internet

 ... and so on. So after i come back from my hometown i hopefully will have new place to live.
I didn't saw my family for a year, so cannot actually wait for that. I keep checking news about my lovely hometown and even checked SBL page, even most of the time recommendations there are not really for my liking. But it's nice to see how much new places are opened and plan to check some of them. Even my salary is way too low i'm still ritch compared to Lithuanian salaries (when foreigners says 'it's cheap' there my initial answer is 'try to live with 200 euros, standard local salary per month then') . I like to check this page as well just to see if my memories is close to current state of things. Checked prices , but looks a bit off as current price for transport ticket is 3.5, not 2.5 Lt. And average monthly salary is around 1000 Lt smaller.

Weeekend getaway to wine cellars

Since i've been having issues with flatmate - he's constantly smoking cigarettes and weed in his room so whole kitchen and corridor stinks most of the time - i decided to take and offer and escape beauty of Brno for a while.

So i spend really beautiful weekend in small village of Modrice. It simply couldn't have been better. Weather was beautiful and sunny. My host, Marie, who was born there, invited me to beautiful village of Sidleny which consist of wine cellars only. People don't live there. Small, beautifully decorated houses consist only cellar and wine tasting room.

Wine i tasted was really great (it was mix of two brands of red wine, sadly i don't really remember names) and i was surprised a bit as i usually don't really like red wine (for me most of the time it's too bitter), but the one after tasting several brands of white and red wines i chose, was so rich and tasty i was amazed. Food we tried was exceptionally great as well - it was sausages from pork and rabbit meat (home made) and some spicy pickled paprika's. I want marry some Czech guy, get cellar, live in the village and have simple orgasm for taste buds and life overall all the time.

 I don't think i can really describe in words beauty of that little village. It has really nice and not very bid zamek with garden and park simply gorgeous in this time. Later we went to hody in Vracov. Unforgettable. I didn't realize how funny czech national costumes are until i saw it. Also it's really great experience to see and live through something purely local there.

Life goes on

With summer gone i think about home much i have done and how much is still left to do.
It was intense. I got in very toxic relationship and was treated like crap and insulted all the time. I met lots of great people, traveled, continued missing my family. My cousin's little girl was born. And a lot of great other stuff.
I miss going mushroom picking. Now, when first frost came they are not so good for eating. Although they still might pop up. I guess people in Brno, at least ones i know are more interested in partying and just going out with friends, not mushrooms. Somehow it's what i miss around there - more day trips.

Every summer has a story

After long and quite boring spring it's so great to finally have something to do all the time and just relax at home or outside.

Basically whole end of may was spend hanging out with friend and watching fireworks on every occasion. I'm glad that i get to know about Ignis Brunensis. Now for me it's related with great time, perfect weather and some funny and eventful stories :) And this, which i declared as 'orgasm for the eyes'. Only Czech ones were kinda horrible and cheap - just random shoots without any coordination with music or no music at all.

Finally, after quite some time in the beautiful city of Brno i can say that i truly love it and people i met there. There's much less concentration  of grumpy ones that in my home country. The only creepy one i met is my former flatmate/landlord who had no social skills and felt okay only with russian speakers, so escaping from his creepy behavior was huge relief and now i feel like i can finally live again - no psycho making loud noises in night or early weekend morning (i really thing he simply has mental issues), i can sleep, make food and feel comfortable again :)

Happiness comes in various forms. For one it's money, for others health, luck, love or other constants of life, but I just recently realized that's it's never the same for various people. It's little things which makes difference. For me now it's my target – to get experience and be best at my work so I will stop be so seriously underpaid. And learn the language somehow. For that I guess I just need to be so lazy. Thing is I cannot force myself into thinking of spending money for courses while being seriously underpaid. So I listen. A lot. Which resulted my Czech into bar/technical but not every day life Czech. Either way when I spent my very very very deserved holidays in Budapest, for me it took several days to switch to English. And yeah, when I did, I heard about my non existent 'Russian accent' from quite a lot idiots.

However, the week in Budapest was simply awesome. Of course, that impression was partially caused by the fact that I was extremely tired after eight months non stop working. I couchsurfed on first few days. I was lucky enough not only to get emergency host but also one living in perfect location of  Heroes square but also was very hospitable, helpful and had few cute cats. For me it took few days and several walking tours to get nice sun tan and properly relax. I cannot even say what i liked the most - weather, city, people or just general atmosphere, but god dammit, after several days i missed good beer terribly even not being hardcore beer drinker. Hungarian beer is so horrible that probably only Finnish one can beat it. Bear Grylls might actually like it.

La primavera!

After such a late spring nice weather finally came to Brno!
Near my work even gardening season began. That's on of the things i really like down there - if people are trying to make surroundings more enjoyable for eyes only little percentage of other people tries to destroy them. Even if locals drink like born with this habit, smokes (everything) like chimneys and they usually don't throw stuff where it doesn't belong.
Last week my mom visited me so after half a year of not seeing each other we enjoyed out time together, although for that i had to overdone myself and work two weeks 7.30 - 18.00 to have that week shorter. We went to the zoo with is now overloaded with screaming kids and blooming live. We especially liked some wild pigs family - they just had two new members and everybody was protecting them - shielding and following around. That's how family should work.
We also checked Mendel's museum of genetics, which although small was quite interesting. Just some stuff was only in english so my mom, who is biologist-genetics enthusiast explained me lots of stuff about Mendel's work. Garden outside abbey (next to that day overloaded Starobrno brewery ) was simply stunning. It still never ceases to amaze me how many unknown species are there, south.

And If All...

And when i thought that spring is finally there, weather turned into total crap. Life is also kinda slushy.
Last week new pope was elected, some Argentinian cardinal. I always trust my first instinct so kinda liked this one, although later after reading more about his life and activities back across the pound - not so much. I remember how after first looking at photo of previous one was repulsed at instant - he just looked angry and like hiding something bad. Usually i don't care much about religious stuff but after starting to regularly go into weekly pub quizzes at U Palečka started reading more about weekly events as it's common topic.
That's how i know that flamboyant basketball player went to Vatican, in Ukraine they trained dolphins and some other random stuff. This week presenter was quite bad though, i wanted to take over after first few sentences. He told it was his first time, but come on, shouldn't one train a bit before it then?
To make my brains rest a little, i started watching 30 rock and imagine i work in company like that. That would be pretty awesome! I love challenges and freedom to think, so now sometimes have to restrict myself not to propose great ideas so i won't be hit to the head like

experiment's (true or false) description
Lesson 'never propose anything great in case not to make people who are not that smart but has to be to look they true selves' was learned hard way.
I'm thinking to start studying again so i'll go to one of many many events there in Brno about research. That's the only thing which makes me feel stupid sometimes - lots of people there does what they call PhD (in my language it's 'doktorantūra' and nobody really talks in abbreviations that much anyways) and i didn't even really defend my master thesis due to financial reasons (if you finish, you have to pay full price for everything and since there's no jobs for young people, it's not fun), so sometimes i'm totally lost when people starts to talk about science and other theoretical stuff.
One very very active guy named Fulvio created Living in Brno guide which can be really useful sometimes for ones who are totally new there. I go to some of events or plan to as although most of them consists same people (some of them i would like to avoid due to harassment) but are trully enjoyable. I'm interested how 'baltic' Morena celebration looks like. Def not the same like Morė burning at Užgavėnės. I was in Saint Patric's event and it wasn't very enjoyable mostly because of lack of space and bad organizing of games.

"My milk tooth" celebrated fourth birthday! Gotta love them :)

Appraisal

So, after five months in lovely town of Brno i finally have my ways of doing things and know what i like. What was really helpful for me in beginning was facebook groups. Now i classify ones i use like following :)

1. Living in Brno - probably most useful one, although fairly new. Many great events and nice people one can meet in them (with few exceptions, but it's probably only me attracting idiots)
2. English in Brno - their events gives opportunity to practice language, hear insults that one's accents is 'russian' and feel smart after meeting many idiots who don't know anything about geography
3. Couchsurfers in Brno - mostly hardcore drinkers club
4. Brno expat women network - that one is the worst. Most members are kid-crazed to lowest point and can talk only about diapers and doctors. Most of them don't know how to use internet so asks extremely stupid questions. Some of them are just posh to the extreme. Not very useful group for me. 

Best places to eat - definitely AVIA and Spolek.

What i miss there is longer working second hand shops. I miss having unique clother and some i would like to get just don't exist in shops. Also there in czech republic most clothes are XXXXL size although one would rarely see fat person. And i don't like stuff hanging on me. I like Gate shop in Avion because they have some nice stuff for fair prices.

Little rant about vain people

Yesterday i went to yet another great event organized by Brno expats center. This time Brno culinary. While it was interesting, i was unpleasantly surprised by the same time. Well, maybe not really unpleasantly, but it left some uneasy feeling how distant people can be for one another. This meeting was for posh people in very posh place with costumes, pretending ones understand stuff about wine and splashing on stuff worth many times less. One thing, i like cozy, not chic. Another thing, i consider myself simple and very unpretentious person and bad liar as well. So i felt extremely uncomfortable.
Also i realized once more how vain and plain stupid people can. Why to go to live in another country if you don't even learn local language and then complain how unfriendly to foreigners local people are? Here's very nice post how to feel local (or at least almost) in Czech republic. I read it several times and can't agree more. According to my very subjective experience and observation quite a lot of immigrants are rich and well, to put it slightly, boring. Rich people are rarely interesting to me because there's not much to talk about with them. Especially when they start about travels. With plain. To capitals. And call it 'traveling'. In my humble opinion it's even more absurd than some people posting questions in let's say Vilnius Tripadvisor forum. When people like that gets cheated and complains about it nobody even feels sorry for them as 99 percent of times it happens it's because they event didn't read about the country they are going to.
So back to where i started, exactly the same stuff i see in the part of expat community here in Brno. Native English speakers expecting that everybody must speak English and putting zero effort in learning beautiful and funny Czech language and getting agitated when somebody don't and later complaining that Czechs in Czech republic can't communicate in foreign language in their home country. Most of them are able to speak only about flying, restaurants, stuff they bought and that's it. Some of foreigners are nice but actually living stereotypes of their home countries. Because of their behavior in my home country i always was careful around British and south European people but only there, abroad, i noticed that i can detect them very easily as they behave like typical tourists there most of the time.
I try not to think stereotypically, but well, people act stereotypically. Brits drink a lot. South europeans shout instead of talking. Americans think that north europeans speak russian. Central europeans not knowing a thing about neighbor countries. North europeans being very sceptical and allergic to stupid and ignorant people and so on. I espeacially notice that when after stating a fact i am called rude/ignorant/angry/little sad/etc. by people not used to truth. What can i say (think most of the time)? Grow up and get a life.

Impeccable days

After moving to Czech republic, Brno, I suddenly become aware how much I miss real, paper letters or post cards. At my early days there I was buying postcards and sending to relatives every week or so. I got word back only from few but still was joyous about it. Now I really fancy buying pretty postcards when I notice them. In this world and time when social networks takes big part in communication, these letters and postcards is great pleasure for me. Damn, I still remember that I got my first mobile phone at age of 16 and as a kid used to play with friends outside, make 'sekrets' in forest and never find them (sekret is small miracle in the ground, created with making a little hole, putting treasured stuff (for kids it was flowers, small toys, candies...) and putting piece of glass on the top). I know that dumb people assume that in my country we speak russian and live in total soviet style hating all russians and polish, but while my childhood actually WAS in soviet style it was real childhood, not damaged by social networks and internet. I still enjoy reading books in paper..

I remember one time i was asked which time period i would choose if i had opportunity to travel in time. Based on how world is nowadays i knew at instant that i would travel back in time. But then i was doubting what i would choose - eighties somewhere in USA (i like feeling smarter than most of others and based on media this period was quite fun there) or 15th century somewhere in Russia (long explanation : central / western Europe was not safe for women as due to crazy Catholics and wars, and in Russia they always (almost) cherished they women and i would like to see more of a country). I decided on eighties as my historical knowledge took over.

True

Finally i have almost everything i always dreamed about - job i love, my own space in flat i'm allowed to sleep at night (i always hated parties and loud people) and enough money to buy food i like and clothes i want. I apologize for other people mistake which they make when beginnings of their sentences interrupts middle of mine. That's life now.
What i still don't enjoy about Brno and Czech republic overall is lack of possibilities to pay with card. I don't like having cash and going to bankomat everytime i need some, so more possibilities to pay with card would be appreciated. But thing is, i intentionally chose bank Fio which has only few bankomats around town but is cheap - other banks requires payments just for using them or availability to services i don't use.

Went to january foreigner's meeting where beer drinking competition happened. I understand that Foreigners.cz offers and likes only expensive or overpriced stuff but that was a bit over the top. Food overpriced and as i heard very untasty (we were at Zlata veverka), stinky (smoking allowed, but zero ventilation) and waitresses almost as bad and rude as in Pegas with it's mentally challenged waiters.
By the way, Czech republic now have angry looking communist as president which is also is first one elected by direct voting (well, in my humble opinion it happened because of old, struck in time, generation, which happens in Lithuania a lot). We still have communists in parliament because old people elects them as they are the ones who actually see point in voting and younger generation and younger ones are already abroad thanks to these communists. And also thanks to England who gives welfare money to basically everyone who asks. There was a bit of 'scandal' over it, but well, this article is very true, British people are whining about their own mistake. Welfare system wasn't created by immigrants, they are just using it.

Evaluations

So, apparently some start of the year evaluations are going around, not only at work. I also evaluated my life there, in Czech republic. So far, it has been really good - i got what was not possible in Lithuania - job i enjoy,  privacy, nice people around me and overall very enjoyable existance and possibility to eat better and buy some stuff i always wanted but never had money for.
On ąčth of January there will be first round of presidental elections.

I hope Avatar will win as it will make this country even better. But prognosis says that 'jewish' has best options. I'm afraid to even try to imagine what candidates will participate in Lithuanian president elections.

update

Apparently czech and austrian are now in running. First one, Milos Zeman, with website 'Milos to the castle' always looks angry and after what i read about him, i don't think i like him. Second one, Karel Schwarzenberg (website there) almost always looks quite not sober, but i think i like him more, sounds like fun and relatively smart guy. Quite disappointingly (well, at least for me) Avatar is out of race.
I realized that i probably am surrounded by people with similar views as i don't know anybody who would like angry looking guy. While discussing movie "Buttoners" after movie event somehow we went into discussing presidential elections as most people supported Avatar and seems now drunk looking guy is more liked than angry looking guy.
This movie itself was really interesting and funny. I liked the idea how people's lives can be connected without them even knowing it, although some plots was not entirely logical (sperm to cosmos, spitting on train number and so on).

Missing

New year finally arrived and started pretty well, except some things at work. I met them in main square of Brno and when i had to cross it, felt like in one of those war movies - lights, fireworks and shouting. But all my body parts are luckily still there.
I'm honestly afraid of my boss and think that he hates me, so i feel pretty stressed and exposed at work. I try to learn as much as i can, so i won't get fired, but thing i don't really feel comfortable around is that i'm not expected to have questions and every time i ask something people get annoyed.

I hope in this year everything will turn for better.
My sister stopped in Brno for few hours on the way from her trip to italian mountains and was tired and hungry, so i decided to lead her and her friends to restaurant close in Hotel Pegas. After that i wrote in their facebook page "horrible service at bar most of the time. if you go with locals it's o.k., but if you try to order in english waiters turns very rude (it happened 3 times already, with different waiters) and still speak in czech. my friends had same experience several times as well. last time waiter named Petr went full mental and made faces behind my friends backs, was so rude we had to choose bravest person to ask for bill. also included some stuff we didn't order. he served other tables around us where people spoke german and czech and behaved almost normally around them. i apologized for his behavior but decided better to avoid this place and recommend others to do so as well.". Never in my life i was at the place where foreigners are sincerely hated, but Pegas is exactly that.